Prisoners Try to Escape in Trash Bags

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CURITIBA, BRAZIL - Lots of prison escapes are unsuccessful. But two guys in Curitiba, Brazil demonstrated real acts of genius.

Sidney da Cruz and Carlos Pereira were partners trying to get out of crime. Only problem is, their escape plan stunk.

Masters of disguise they are not, as they hid in trash-filled trash bags and waited to be taken out.

It goes without saying why that wouldn’t have worked, but da Cruz and Pereira didn’t get that far.

A prison guard caught them when he noticed the bags were “breathing”.

And that’s how these two became our Dumbasses of the Day! 

Guy Grabs Woman’s Butt

NORTH LAUDERDALE, FL - Eighteen-year-old, Aaron Morris was looking for more than low prices at his local WalMart. Police say he was booty shopping! Morris allegedly grabbed a woman’s butt outside a dressing room. When he got caught, he told police, “Her booty looked so good, I just couldn’t resist touching it!” And cops couldn’t resist putting handcuffs on him. He was arrested and charged. Hopefully he kept his hands to himself behind bars.

That’s how Aaron Morris became our Dumbass of the Day! 

Woman Goes to Bang Her Neighbor, Leaves Kids Home Alone

PORT RICHEY, FL - Leaving your kids home alone probably isn’t a good idea. Crystal Rusaw, 24, definitely won’t be getting a Mother of the Year award. 

Rusaw left her 4 and 3-year-olds, and a 10 month-old home alone. She didn’t leave to go run a quick errand. And no, she didn’t simply forget them. She was feeling a little frisky, so she dialed up her neighbor and went to get it on.

So while mom was “busy,” the kiddos managed to get out of the house and wandered onto a nearby highway. A driver called police after seeing the children trying to cross the road.

Rusaw was arrested for child neglect.

And we charged this horny mom as our Dumbass of the Day!

Man Steals Parfaits from McDonald’s

EVANSVILLE, IN - A McDonald’s bandit struck in Evansville, IN, but the thief didn’t make off with any cash. Instead, Christopher McGlauflin made off with the next best thing…loads of parfaits!

Police saw the whole thing go down on surveillance video. But as they were watching the video, they noticed their main suspect walking right in front of the restaurant. They caught him and arrested him. He was taken to jail and charged with burglary, theft and criminal mischief.

Speeding Woman Goes Topless

MARION COUNTY, FL  - There’s nothing like being caught with your pants down. For 35-year-old Mandy Ramsey, she was caught topless. Well sorta!

It all started when police saw Ramsey speeding and tried pulling her over. Ramsey didn’t listen and kept on driving. She ran a stop sign, it an Oak tree and eventually got away. Deputies later found the truck parked behind a mobile home. They knocked and found Ramsey’s boyfriend. Turns out the truck belonged to him. He told cops he hadn’t driven the truck in two hours. That’s when Ramsey admitted that she had been behind the wheel. She told cops she didn’t pull over because she was driving topless so she could surprise her boyfriend.

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to Ramsey that cops arrested and booked her.

And it should come as no surprise that Ramsey is our Dumbass of the Day! 

Trail of Chips Leads Police to Subway Thief

PITTSBURGH, PA - When you let your stomach do the thinking instead of your brain, you’re bound to get in a lot of trouble. Take for instance, 21-year old Benjamin Sickles. He didn’t want a $5 foot-long when he visited a Subway near Pittsburgh, PA. He wanted some cash, so he tried to force open the register. But when he couldn’t get the cash, he went for the next best thing—-nine bags of chips!

It seems he couldn’t wait until he got home to munch out because officers followed the trail of chips and it led them straight to Sickles. He was sitting on the steps of a high school a few blocks away eating the last bit of evidence. He was arrested and charged.

And that’s how this hungry fella became our Dumbass of the Day!

Woman Asks 2 Men to Stab Her

BEATRICE, NE - Something’s in the water in Beatrice, Nebraska and it taste like a dose of stupid!

Jessalyn Stierwalt, Jerry Duke and Scott Roberson-Turman were all arrested after Jerry and Scott stabbed Jessalyn. But this wasn’t an attack. They did it because Jessalyn asked them to.

Jessalyn told police she was just too stinkin’ drunk to get her butt to her probation meeting and needed some time to sober up. Too bad there’s no sobering up from stupidity. The three were arrested and charged. 

And that’s we scored not one, not two, but three Dumbasses of the Day! 

Man Steals Car Because He Was Tired of Walking

HENNEPIN COUNTY, MN - Wesley John Winston, 21, stole a car, but little did he know it was a bait car set up by police.

Just a mere 10 minutes after he stole it, he was busted.

When police were arresting him, Wesley told them that he stole the car because his feet were sore and didn’t want to walk home.

He faces a maximum of five years in prison for felony theft of a motor vehicle. 

Teen Gets Arm Stuck in Soda Machine

CALIFORNIA - Skater boys! They’re known for their slick moves. Their not-so-slick moves. And remember when Avril Lavigne really used to dig them?!

But a 17-year-old California teen got a lot more attention than he ever wanted after he got his arm stuck in a soda vending machine. Someone saw the teen in distress and called for help. Getting him loose was no easy task. Firefighters had to bust out the big tools to get this tool loose. The teen was checked out by paramedics, had a few bruises on his arm, but an even bigger bruise to his ego. He was taken into custody and will likely be charged with petty theft. 

And incase you were wondering, he never got his soda. But he got our prestigious title as our Dumbass of the Day!

Bringing Your Cat to a Strip Club—-Not a Good Idea!

MURDOCK, FL - Getting arrested at a strip club doesn’t seem that out of the ordinary. But when you show up with your pussycat at the door, it can be a problem.

Everett Lages was arrested outside the Emerald City Gentlemen’s Club in Murdock, Florida because he tried bringing a kitten inside with him. But it wasn’t the cat’s claws that came out, it was Everett’s. He called 911 to complain. He even called 911 again while cops were there with him. He was arrested and faces numerous charges, including misusing the 911 system, disorderly intoxication and trespassing.

As for the cat, animal control took it.

Lesson to be learned: sometimes some meows just don’t mix.

That’s how Everett became our Dumbass of the Day!